Act I
C.S.
Clark, our guide, introduces Toronto the Good. Immediately a
parade of temperance supporters sweeps onstage, singing "Throw
Down The Bottle". Mayor Howland warns Torontonians of the new
bylaws that have been enacted to clean up the city. He will
prevent the sale of liquor on Toronto Island, close down the
houses of ill-fame, prevent cigar stores from selling lewd
pictures, and do something about the boys climbing fences and
playing ball in the street.
Clark is
cynical about the effectiveness of these measures. By the
1890s, the pendulum is starting to swing in the other
direction. Toronto is "a city struggling with its soul, seeking
Goodness and finding Human Nature".
Newspaper
announcements give us a glimpse of some of the goings-on in the
city. A familiar figure is the expatriate Britisher, whose
pretensions are satirized in the song "Dude! Dude! Dude!" ("His
pants to his legs are glued.")
Bizarre
advertisements introduce the business life of the city. An
investigative woman reporter from the Daily News takes a job as
a shop girl. As the hardships of the life are revealed, she
sings "Give Our Shop Girls a Little More Pay" (joined by the
rest of the cast). She is indignant that shop girls have a
loose reputation, and angry that poverty drives some to immoral
lives. She sings "The Outcast".
Clark
takes us on a tour of Yonge street via the Toronto Street
Railway, while the cast sings "On the Yonge Street Line We
Met".
The
bicycle craze hits Toronto, and everyone is riding. "The Song
of the Wheel" infects everyone. An unfortunate novice named
Brown has an unhappy encounter with a tree in High Park.
Women
cyclists insist that bloomers are the only rational dress. A
woman speaks out forcefully against the distortion of the
female form caused by corsets. The women sing a chorus of
"Daughters of Freedom".
E.A.
McDonald, a flamboyant politician, appeals to women to support
the Great Power Aqueduct. Since 1885, widows and single women
can vote municipally, and could swing the election; the rest
can swing their husbands. Mrs. Youmans (national president of
the Women’s Christian Temperance Union) describes the
first time she cast a ballot in a municipal election.
Boating
in Toronto harbour is popular, especially with the younger set.
("Oh, George! The Boat’s Tipping Over!") Unscrupulous
young men entice innocent shop girls into their boat houses,
furnished with camp beds and offer them glasses of wine!
The
amazing story of an enormous stone passed by William S. Bull
with the help of Dodd’s Kidney Pills introduces other
medical marvels. The sensuous song "The Girl with the
Cigarette" is offset by a severe medical warning about how
cigarette smoking destroys the brain.
The
young woman with the cigarette confides to her friend how she
threw over that "nice Mr. Knuppy" because he was too polite to
try to kiss her. A college boy too! They sing "I’m Getting
a Big Girl, Now".
Clark is
puzzled by young women, strolling briskly in pairs along Yonge
Street. His detective friend reveals that they are looking for
middle aged men to entrap, and explains how it works.
In Night
Court, the magistrate disposes of some charges of drunkenness.
A man is accused of beating his wife; the magistrate hands out
a stiff sentence, but when his wife pleads that the children
will have no food, discharges him.
Clark
describes Sunday in the City, the day of rest, and after the
sun sets, the company sings "The Old Gas Lamp". The last gas
lamp in the city sings the refrain.
Act II
We
are on a vaudeville stage. Clark gently debunks Toronto’s
reputation as "Musical Toronto", to the strains of "The Lost
Chord". A Vaudeville actor enters, declares that he is the
Prologue, and announces a weird and wonderful collection of
acts that he will perform.
Clark,
assuming the role of the great Dramatic Actor Irving Booth
undertakes to teach a country girl elocution. She murders "The
Charge of the Light Brigade", fortunately in a few lines, and
then begins "Curfew Must Not Ring Tonight". This time she is
excellent. The sentimental masterpiece is acted out by the
company. The company sings "The Girl at the Matinee" ("She
burnt two big holes in my heart" with her opera glasses.)
A
temperance speaker berates the audience with the vileness of
theatre going. "You will find the rakes and the gamblers; the
fast men and the loose women; the harlots and the libertines"
the speaker declares, staring at the audience accusingly.
Announcements
in the papers for performances that present "too much girl for
the dresses worn", such as "Revell’s British Blondes" lead
to the production number "Lardy Dah!". The song is broken up
with excerpts from Vaudeville routines: "Female Globe Trotter"
and a mock feminist stump speech (which succeeds in making some
nice feminist points along the way). At the end, the company
breaks into the "Lardy Dah Galop" dance number.
We
follow an inebriated citizen, singing the
champagne-drinker’s anthem "Moet and Chandon". He is
heading to a house of ill-fame, despite the fact that Inspector
Archibald insists that there are none left in Toronto.
According to the inspector, soliciting on the street has also
been eliminated, but Clark tells us exactly how it is done.
With respectable girls, it is called "flirting". The women sing
"A Young Girl of the Day".
A former
dancing instructor, now saved from sin, describes in detail how
learning to waltz will inevitably lead an innocent girl to
ruin. The company dances the story, to the appropriate music. A
child and her lonely grandfather sing the sad story of two
lives ruined by a misunderstanding "After the Ball".
Now
it’s time for sleep. "The Sandman’s Song" closes the
play; "Blue eyes, gray eyes, black eyes and brown, As shuts
the rose, they softly close, when he goes through the
town."
